Competitiveness 

“Dad! Race me to the barn and back!!” 

“You don’t wanna race me, I could beat you running backwards!” 

Challenge accepted. After a lost race to the old barn, I was pretty mad.
“DAD. I am supposed to win!!!”


     Little did I know, this was the start of my competitive edge in my life. I am the most competitive person I know, besides my father of course. But I have to get it for someone, right?
      Being competitive is a blessing and a curse. I genuinely feel bad for people who play against me or just interact with me in general. Everything is a competition to me, everything. I just have a passion in my veins to be the best, and nothing but that. My parents have seen this growing up, and as parents they want their child to be the best too. So it’s not all my fault that I’m this competitive, they egged me on to be this way.
      In sports, you will never doubt that I’m trying my hardest. Competing is so much more than playing for a crown, though my high school coach that the best way to motivate me is offer me a shiny plaque if I get to my goal. Competing is playing for what you love and taking pride in what you are doing. I am not being dramatic, this is actually my thought process. I love winning, who doesn’t? But I hate losing more than I will ever love winning. Like I said to my dad some 15 odd years ago, I’m supposed to win. Winning is what your expected to do. When I lose, no matter if I’m playing a small team or if it’s USC, it isn’t any easier. This is the blessing I guess, having the drive and want to win every single day.
       But it’s not all rainbows and butterflies all the time. I have done a lot of self research (because I like reading that stuff) specifically on competitive people. I notice that I really aggravate people sometimes, I don’t even notice because it’s just what I know. The negative side of a competitive person is they are seen by some people as intense, too headstrong, overbearing, etc. We are just misunderstood people… I really don’t want to scare people off or not want to hang out with me. Along with the self searching, I have looked up ways how to act normal to these people so I don’t take on these traits. This results in me sitting there quietly because I know anything that is coming out of my mouth is 9 out of 10 times something competitive. Dealing with people is a struggle sometimes, but it’s something that needs to happen so I don’t seem like a competitive prick. Thanks mom and dad.
        After the curse and blessing, I step back and look at it and own it. What everyone should do. My competitive edge has led me to all of my successes in academics and sports. I want to be the best, from a silly board game to water polo. No matter the circumstances, I will lay down everything on the line in order to get there. I am blessed to have family, friends, a boyfriend and teammates who still love me even though they have to put up with this 24/7. So weighing the pros and cons, which is it? A blessing or a curse? If you ask me, it’s a blessing.
Hannah
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