DISCLAIMER: THIS POST IS MESSY. IT IS FREELY WRITTEN. I’D LIKE TO THINK THERE IS MORE EMOTION THAN LOGIC IN IT, BECAUSE IT IS SOMETHING I DO NOT KNOW A LOT ABOUT BUT WOULD LOVE TO GET SOME THOUGHTS DOWN.
Just really gonna emphasize, religion isn’t my thing. So bear with me, those of you who read this and religion is your thing. I know what I am discussing is not the foundation of Christianity, but I do think its an important chunk of it.
As I continue to develop my relationship with Christ, I realize its a slow path. Although, I still strive to follow that path, no matter how long or hard. I am trying to understand The Word as much as I can. In my opinion, I am almost scared to share my religious beliefs on social media. I have opened up a couple times on my blog just because I allow it to be an transparent outlet for my thoughts.
I have read posts on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and every social media in between. I read some of these posts and see the person posting depicting a perfect righteous life. I guess as a (lack of a better word) progressing Christian, I am trying to be a sponge when learning about the gospel. I don’t know if it’s because I am not a devout Christian (yet) or I just overanalyze everything… but while reading these posts, we preach one thing yet we still turn our heads to our own sins. Frankly, I am tired of seeing people act like something they are not. Sure, I will say I am a Christian, but I am no holy roller. Nor do I know what the heck I am talking about half of the time. But I just find it odd sometimes when people point fingers but when shown a mirror, see a perfect being.
I mean, I have no clue what I am talking about but I just don’t think there is such a thing as a “perfect” Christian. We are all sinners. However, why do we try to act like perfection when it is unattainable? Why do we act as if we are better or more holy than our neighbor? It seems to me when we do this, it is almost like we are turning our words into condescending gestures instead of loving words to our neighbors. I still ask myself this every day, because I, too, am guilty of it.
Luke 8:17 : There is nothing hidden that won’t be revealed, and there is nothing secret that won’t become known and come to light.
If you truly are a perfect Christian, more power to you, I hope to see you in Heaven someday, maybe even have some coffee before then because I’d love to hear what you have got to say since I need a lot of work HAHA. I’m trying to think of how I can write my path of faith down on this blog and how it feels. What comes to my mind: excitement, love, fullness, complete, fear, scared, nervous. People ask me how I could ever be scared to progress my relationship with Jesus Christ. But the reality of it is is that I am scared to walk into the unknown. I fear I will not be the picture perfect Christian. I fear I will not be good enough in the eyes of the Lord or even my peers. I am afraid that I will start to see other’s sin, yet turn my head to my own. As of right now, I am starting to realize all of my sins, and accepting them, and forgiving myself. Although, I read on Christianity and am learning to find a way to see both sides to every story. Now, I will be the first to admit; I am no where near a perfect Christian, nor will I ever be. I still judge, though the Bible says to not judge. I still sin. But I think one thing I am taking from my findings is that if I have the ability to see the wrong others are doing, I should be seeing the wrongs I am committing as well, maybe even first before I see others. I am a firm believer of you must love yourself before you are ever capable of loving others. I think this still pertains to realizing, accepting and forgiving your sins before you do that to others. Get yourself down before you try and look at others and do that. I am not perfect at this, I am still working on it. But I think this is a huge part of why I think faith in the Lord is so awesome. That he finds ways to forgive people’s sins no matter what the level. Just reading and learning about his ways blows my mind, because when I try to put myself in that scenario, I find it so difficult to walk the walk, but so easy to talk the talk. That is where I realize that I still need improvements, I guess.
Matthew 7:1-6: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
(I personally think this verse is so great. This is what I think when I think of a Christian)
I know in my heart that I am not perfect and I still struggle with following exactly in the steps of God. That’s why I am comfortable with finding inspiration in the word, but I’m not gonna preach because I do not fully understand. Maybe someday I will. But for where I am at right now as a Christian, I do not want to find myself throwing verses at people blaming them for not following the word of God if I don’t know how to follow it fully myself.
I feel like a lot of Christians get a bad reputation sometimes. I have heard people call them close minded, but isn’t the point to be open minded and accepting? I have heard people say they preach something, however don’t follow it another way. I have heard people call them two-faced, fake, judging. This pulls me back to where I find myself nervous to go down this unknown path. I do not want to become one of these things that people have said about Christians, especially if I understand that a Christian should be none of those. I don’t want to be that two-faced righteous person. I don’t want to be one of those posts I see on Facebook, shaming others for their sins but completely ignoring my own. I want to be able to recognize all sides. But the thing is, is I am one of those “fake” Christians, if you may call it that. I don’t go to church every Sunday, simply because every church I have been to makes me feel uncomfortable. I find it much more useful to build my relationship with God on my own. I know I probably should’ve went to Sunday school when I was little, or should have done Young Life in high school, or even should probably start going to our school’s College Hour chapel every week. But I think I much rather find my own path to God instead on my own time instead of being thrown into the mix expecting it to just come to me. Because I feel like this whole thing hasn’t just come to me. And if it was supposed to, I feel like it would’ve happened by now. Yes, I want to build my relationship with him. But more importantly, I want to learn more about what he is trying to teach us. Yes, I follow the word of God, I find peace & guidance in the Bible in times of need. However, I still find myself judging others and envying others, no matter how small. I think my mindset is that I refuse to present myself like that in front of people (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram whatever) and act like I am the perfect Christian girl walking down a golden brick road to salvation and the Kingdom of Heaven. Frankly, its not that at all, the path to salvation is not that easy. However, I am willing to walk this path since I know God will be with me. I just don’t think it’s like me to go on a social media site and start pointing fingers at sinners while I know that I commit sins as well. Maybe not the same ones as them, maybe worse, maybe not as severe, but sinning nonetheless. I will be the first to admit that I have a lot of work to do, but I know that others do as well and that’s okay. Jesus is this awesome guy and is so patient and knows a time comes for everyone to see the light. But until then, I guess I will work on my relationship in privacy. I am a sinner, however I am still a child of God. I am not working to be a perfect Christian, i am working on my relationship with Jesus Christ. And there’s my small rant on why I am tired of trying to be perfect and also seeing the “perfect” Christian on social media, because the only perfect Christian is Jesus Christ himself (and everyone knows he is too old to have a Facebook anyways).
(some more cool verses below are being shared because I find them very applicable)
Job 34:11: He repays everyone for what they have done; he brings on them what their conduct deserves.
Proverbs 28:13-14: Whoever hides his transgressions will not succeed, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will find mercy. Blessed is the man who always fears the Lord, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into disaster.